Set in Stone but Prepared in Play-Doh

I

I firmly believe in sharing and share best thru writing when something strikes me as needing to be shared. So, here I go....

I read a posting recently on Twitter (actually multiple tweets due to the word limit) where the original poster was bemoaning being a "millenial" -- that it was hard to be an adult when the world was so against them. Here is the start of her missive and a couple other screenshots, should you want to follow her whole thread: 

That they couldn't buy a home because of the weight of student loans, for degrees that society pushed them to get. That they weren't married or in a relationship or having children until after 30. Because society was deciding how much money or what kind of job or person they needed to be to be called "successful". 

I will give you the REAL "Because"....

(and I will use "millenials" loosely as a term because I believe it's more of an excuse than a moniker.  Actually I think I will call them "kids" instead -- because at my age, they are)

...choices. These kids make choices.

NO ONE told them they had to get a degree, no one told them they had to get loans. That was their CHOICE. I actually got paid to go to school between scholarships and grants -- I also lived at home and went to school locally. I told my kids if they wanted to go to college, they were paying for it. I have one who is mostly funded thru scholarships and one who has a mix of scholarship and self-funding with his job. I heard of a valedictorian who is funding thru loans because she didn't do the work to get scholarships -- which would have been handed to her on a silver platter as a valedictorian. But she made the choice that the work wasn't worth it.

Why are kids today afraid of hard work? "Everyone gets a medal" was only in little league......

You want to go to college? GO. If you can't work yourself thru or don't choose to apply for scholarships and you have to get loans -- be smart. And don't complain about them because that was a CHOICE. THEIR choice. 

I also have two sons who are tradesmen (one is a cell tower tech and one is a stagehand)....and we have a current shortfall of a LOT of tradespeople because college is talked up a little too much. Think about how life will be in ten years with no cell tower techs, stagehands, builders, plumbers, electricians, carpenters, hairdressers, painters, salespeople, servers, hotel workers etc...College isn't for everyone and teachers and parents need to stop pretending that it is. And for both of my older kids -- it was a great career path. My husband is an electrician -- was going to college when we met, but realized he was going mostly to please his parents, not himself. Much happier when he quit. And he makes as much or more than a LOT of college-educated people, for those of you who are into the money thing. So to those of you kids who look down on ANYONE who works with their hands or in retail or service industries......boo on you.

I actually catch some flak for working retail even tho I have a college degree. GUESS WHAT? Best choice ever to work for Costco 15 years ago. I make $26 an hour "counting socks" (I am an inventory auditor). Full benefits (even when I was part time), 401K, 

5 weeks vacation, flexible schedule, on and on. My CHOICE has paid off by allowing me to spend more time with my family and do the things in the community that actually make me happy.  The job -- well, it's just a job. And it is actually irritating as hell sometimes, like most jobs are.  I have no delusions of grandeur that the company will fail without me. I am replaceable there....but I personally believe NO job or wordly success will compensate for failure in the home. And that's why I have made the choices I did. For my home and my children.

Work SMARTER, not HARDER. My dad told me that all the time,  It's true.

I watch kids spend money and want/need things like their parents currently have--expensive trips, house, car, boat, etc. Their parents worked for some of those things for years.  SAVE. And save more. It doesn't have to hurt, but the rewards are worth it. You want to go on that trip? DO IT -- just don't go into debt over it. Same for college. Son #2 and wife bought a house before they got married. At age 24 & 25. Sacrifices (choices that might hurt a little) are always WORTH IT in the long run. My son #1 is getting a house this week with his family, after nearly a decade of his unwise choices that put him at a disadvantage on several levels...GUESS WHAT? He changed his choices, with the help of a supportive, loving wife and daughter. You can too.

The problem is, so called "millennials" are only in it for the SHORT run. Jobs, relationships, opportunities.....I watch kids miss out on some great opportunities because they are afraid of making a choice and possibly failing. FAIL. Fall down a few times. That's how you learn. This generation where everyone got a medal for participating is now paying for it in spades. These kids did not learn to fail and then learn from it --and maybe that is where the "millennial parents" have an inkling of responsibility in this so-called issue. My kids learned to fail -- but I even think I could have done a better job by letting them soak in a few more failures and not coming to the rescue. But they do know as adults I am there for them and will come if they need me....other than that, they basically run their own show. 

And sorry, but society does not TELL you what you need or how much $$$ you have to have to be a success. That comes from the "everyone needs a medal to be happy" people. Read the story of The Sneetches from Dr. Seuss. Or You Are Special by Max Lucado. Just because someone else has something and is happy and others are happy FOR them, doesn't mean it's right for you. Or that you are better because of the things you have, not the person you are or are trying to become. That's nonsense. Other peoples' opinions of you are none of your business. Our society tends to elevate people for the wrong reasons anyway (ie: Kardashians). Don't play their game. 

I am married, nearly 30 years. 4 kids, one granddaughter, three puppies. LOTS of heartache, challenges, etc. thru the years. But we loved each other thru it because it mattered -- not the size of our home, fancy clothing and decor, new cars, expensive trips, etc. The things "society" says you need to be happy and important are just another star on the Sneetch. Don't buy into it, Financial difficulties from over-extending yourself are responsible for so much stress, abuse, divorce, etc. Live within your means and you will be happy. Promise.

And if you are OK with where you are at and you are happy....THAT is amazing. BE you. DO you. Don't let the so-called "they" get into your head and tell you otherwise. Who the heck are "they" anyway and why are you giving them permission to rent space in your head? The original poster kind of comes around to saying be happy with yourself, but not after first complaining and blaming society for a "life" she created. BUT....if you are where you are because of your CHOICES and you are NOT happy, it is not the end. Learn to make better ones. Get help. Get training.  Heck--go BACK to school if you think it will help you...but do it smartly and don't incur outrageous debt. A life isn't set in stone until you are resting under one.    

I tell my kids ALL the time...."the choices you make are the choices you keep". So make them either a blessing or a lesson. End of story.