I Beg to Differ

     

I was in process of changing my banner picture on FaceBook when I came across this picture in my "saved" file. I had originally copied it from another friend's wall, placed there in reference to the latest political issue blowing up in the media (we have SO many lately I can't even remember which one). It hit me that this picture is a metaphor for the way I have lived my life so I decided to write about it.

          I was always kind of a different child. During my early school years, it was that "different" that made me stand out to teachers and get awards for my performance and creativity.   Different enough to get asked to do challenging or time-sensitive things, because people knew I could handle them. Different enough to speak up about the tough things when others were ignoring them like that silly 'ol elephant in the room. Oh, yeah -- and different that got me called out and beat up at lunch, made fun of mercilessly, and left sitting alone on the grassy hill at recess, wiping a mixture of dirt and tears from my thick coke-bottle lens glasses. Sometimes different was a blessing, other times a curse. I had a difficult time seeing that (even with the thick glasses) -- why my unusual gifts were at times a blessing and other times a burden so heavy I sometimes thought I couldn't go on carrying them. It has taken me YEARS to appreciate the fact the my "different" is what makes me ME. 

          From those who practice different religions to people with different cultures and customs, the world and its so-called "in the moment" definition of normal has always made it difficult to be different. Some people are blessed with thicker skin than others, making it easier to shield themselves from unkind comments and unwanted labels. My religion has always taught that although we are created in the image of our Maker, we are given our agency and our spirits are different. Wait...different?  So, my Heavenly Father, Creator of my spirit -- my spirit made in His image, says it is OK for me to be different? But you say it isn't. Now something's wrong with that.

          Take body image, for instance. Young women in today's society are often starving themselves to fit in with society's definition of beauty. Normal. Which is usually extremely thin.  Now, for some people given certain genetics, this IS their normal. Good for them. BUT...trying to make everyone fit into the same mold at the expense of their health and self esteem isn't good for anyone in the long run. Every woman reading this has probably been on some type of diet or another in their lifetime, or exercises like a maniac to justify eating a scoop of Haagen-Dazs. 

Guess what? 

In the '50s, Marilyn Monroe was the ideal of all hot-blooded men everywhere...and she was a size 12-14 by today's standards. 

 Crazy, right? That society over the last few years has decided that a healthy, beautiful, curvy woman is NOT the ideal. 

          On a side note, Monroe herself was so overwhelmed by society's obsession with her beauty and fame and how THEY thought she was supposed to be that she took her own life. She...Norma Jean Baker...was actually a pretty intuitive, forward-thinking, sensitive woman.  But society and the starmakers told her she was supposed to be a dumb blonde sex toy. No wonder she was always trying to self-medicate with drugs and alcohol, because she wasn't strong enough to run the other direction. Makes ya think, doesn't it?

          I always tell my daughter, "you can be bitter, or you can be better". She hates it when I say it, but I think it is sinking in. And it's true. I can do my best to treat others kindly, apologize when I have offended, credit others for their accomplishments, and work hard every day -- and if it isn't enough for someone else, that it THEIR problem. 

          I could go on and on with other examples, but it's all about the same. The issue is, what to do about it? It has taken me literally almost 45 years to come to terms with the fact I am different. That not everyone is going to like me. That I WILL get blamed for things that are not even remotely my fault, and often because of my differences. That people will talk about me behind my back rather than to my face because I don't fit their mold. That people choose to be my friend only when my differences suit them. I have spent WAY too long agonizing over why certain people don't allow me into their circle. It finally hit me a while back that just because they don't appreciate me the way I am, it does not matter. I need to appreciate ME for the way I am -- that I run the other way, speak up, get perceived as the crazy b**** because I am stronger than the masses. I don't have to be part of things to be a part of things. It's funny, because I would never in a million years treat people the way I have been treated at certain points in my life. And I am proud to say that is one of the many things that make me different. Because I won't become what society has thrown on me. And I run the other direction even if I am the only one on that path.

          I sometimes perm my hair when the rest of the fashion world says, be straight.  I speak up when the rest of the group whispers, be silent.  I dress conservatively though society says, hey, you have a great body...show some more skin. I leave my Sundays for church and family dinner when others say, but you're missing the party.  I will let you in on a little secret that a lot of people have not figured out yet. And it won't cost you a cent...

          When I come home at night, and it's quiet, I am alone with my thoughts for a brief period of time before I fall asleep.  This is after I have washed my face and brushed my teeth and had an opportunity to view my tired self in the mirror. Other than my husband of nearly 25 years sleeping soundly beside me, no one else is in the room. No one judging, no one accusing, no one speaking. And I have that final moment before I sleep to realize I am OK with myself despite what the world thinks of my effort. That I have pleased God with my actions. That I have made others happy. That I have stood up for those who couldn't find their voice. And if my inner voice whispers to me that I have failed in any of those categories, I vow to rise in the morning and make amends. You have to be OK with you, and if the world isn't, so be it. If you have offended people and they do not accept your apologies, so be it. That is on their karma platter, and you don't have to eat it. And it's taken 40+ years for me to learn that lesson. 

So... 

 

the next time you run into someone you haven't seen for awhile, take a moment and appreciate what makes them different.  Chances are, it's the quality that drew you to them in the first place...

        

  

  the next time you see something wrong happening right in front of you, make a choice to make a change. Don't just run with the herd....

   



   
     the next time someone judges, accuses, disrespects, labels, or ignores you, go ahead and stand your ground. Defend yourself if that's what it takes for you to be OK with yourself.  Then turn and walk away...

           



 the next time you wrong someone, apologize genuinely to their face.  If they don't accept it, write a letter if it makes you feel better. Then let it go. Holding onto a grudge is ugly, and you don't need that weighing you down. The herd that tells you otherwise is running in the wrong direction...

          Next time, beg to differ. The world needs you to stand up and stand out. There is too much grey and not enough color in this place. Thanks for listening.....:)

                   

         

         

         

What to do for an Owie that a Band-Aid Won't Fix.....

          It is difficult to tell a child who has been hurt REPEATEDLY by people who considered "friends" that these people are NOT behaving like friends. It is equally hard to NOT call up the parents of said friends and let them know how their children treat people...that they make them cry in public and leave them out of things, unless it benefits them in some way. It's like the popular kid form of bullying, and they think because it's in a group, that's OK. Happens at church and at school. Church makes me the saddest, I think.

My words to my child are to be better, not bitter -- and to find your own path and other people to walk with you that will be there even for the bumps in the road. My words to my child are that you are beautiful, talented, and gifted -- and they are probably just jealous (my mother's same words to me). I tell my child that popularity is fleeting and vain, but the world and these part time friends say otherwise.

It is hard when you have to take the first steps alone, though (been there done that). Sometimes I still feel like I am alone, but then I remember I chose that path a long time ago when people were treating me like my child is being treated. Sure, I did find some close friends along the way (and some fantastic new ones) -- but it took a long time. I really don't want that kind of misery for my child. It is hard enough that a child struggles with self esteem, but even more so when so-called "friends" think the child is only worth having around when other, more popular people are not there.

So what do I say to my child? We go for milkshakes. There is talking and crying and watching of favorite movies until we both fall asleep, physically and emotionally exhausted. There are memories flooding back to me of my lonely, sometimes tortured teen years and my gut-wrenching fear that my child is in for the same thing. I survived it somehow, but I must have blocked that out -- because when I see it happen to my beautiful, talented child I don't know what to do, or how to help.

I admonish all parents to watch your children. I watch mine like a hawk and always have because of the way I was treated when I was younger. I never wanted ANY of my kids to treat others badly. I have dragged a couple of mine by the ear in the "apology perp walk" stance to correct wrongs. Watch how they treat people. Don't be fooled by popularity and buy in to what the world tells you about them. It's NOT OK to make another human being cry and then laugh about it. That's not being popular -- it's being petty and vain. Maturity will sort out those people in its own time, but some of the people they have hurt along the way may not end up being strong enough to make it through to see it happen. I lost several friends in school that way, and I don't want that for my child OR yours -- on either side of the equation.

So, save the children. ALL of them.  Make room at the table for everyone, because you might be surprised who your "best friend" or your biggest fan will turn out to be. I know this mom would appreciate you thinking about that today.

A Word, Please.....

I have been watching everyone's postings on FaceBook and in the mainstream media about the current senseless tragedy in Connecticut at Sandy Hook Elementary School.  Peoples' posts alternate between prayers and sympathy for those lost, kudos to teachers and service personnel who were heroes, and then the inevitable cry for more gun control and more laws to prevent things like this.

I will take the prayers and offer some of my own.  I will praise the people who put the lives of others above their own.  However, people thinking more laws of any type will prevent something like this are completely misguided. We, as brothers and sisters of the human race, need to watch our words.

YES, I said WORDS, people. Remember the old playground adage "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me"? Our parents told us that to toughen us up in grade school. Just like some people are more sensitive to certain foods or allergens, some people are more sensitive to words.  People who have been told they are stupid or worthless their entire lives may grow up believing it...or they may take that misery thrust upon them and do amazing things.  Neglected and abused children may seek love at any cost or grow up to neglect and abuse others.  The same with hatred and violence.  WORDS.

We don't know what could have been inside the mind of this horribly misguided soul. He obviously wasn't seeking notoriety, as he took his own life. More that likely, once things were set in motion in his mind, there is nothing anyone could have done to stop it.  He wanted other people to feel the sadness and misery that was a part of his own life and went about it the way society had shown him was acceptable. Every time there is something that happens like this, the media creates a firestorm and seems to glorify those who kill. And that in itself is almost as disgusting as the act itself.  And the fact that some people just soak it up and want more of it makes me fear for our race.

BUT...there is something we can ALL do that may prevent something like this from happening again in the future. And it costs nothing but a bit of conscious effort. And all it takes is words.  YES, I said WORDS, people.

Kind words.

Loving words.

Motivating words.

Honest words.

Respectful words.

Stand up and be counted words.

Words that make a difference. 

Words that cry for change, even when everyone around you sits silent.

We all know these words, but for some reason, we have forgotten how to use a lot of them. I tell my children, "the choices you make are the choices you keep". That includes the words you choose to use, because once they escape your lips -- your weapon of choice -- you can't call them back.  And sometimes sorry is as useless as a band-aid on a broken arm. Because sorry is still words, sometimes empty words.  Because sometimes the damage is done from the first syllable, the first harsh gaze, the first unconscionable act. Because you don't have a choice what people do with your words once you give them away.  Your words, depending on how they are delivered, can be a burden or a blessing.  People with malevolent motives can also twist them, turning a casually delivered opinion into a sharp-edged weapon of misery in an instant.

So what now, humans?  I say humans, because tragedies like this don't just occur on American soil.  It is a world-wide problem. It is a human problem. 

We need more respect. 

We need more love and concern for others.

We need faith.

We need people who don't twist our words to hurt others. 
(Sadly, this in and of itself is probably responsibly for more misery than directly hateful words).

We don't need more media glorifying violence and ugly things.

We don't need more laws, because broken people will still break them.  Laws only work for rational people.  And I think you will agree that this was irrational behavior at he highest level.

I went to school to become a teacher, even though it is not my current profession.  One of the most amazing stories to come from this recent tragedy is one of a first grade teacher who herded 15 children into a small bathroom. She told them to be silent. She barricaded the door. Of all the things she did to keep them safe, the last one is the most beautiful to me.  She used words.  She spoke softly. She wiped tears. She told them she loved them. She told a reporter afterwards that if they were going to die, she did not want gunfire to be the last thing they heard.  She wanted them to know they were loved.  And the children believed her not because they feared for their lives, but more than likely because this teacher truly DID love those children and showed it every day.

You read this today either because you were interested, needed solace, wanted to hear another opinion, or maybe you were just bored.  So since you are here at the end, you now have an assignment.  Homework, as it were.  Because I am a teacher by nature.

Go outside yourself today and weave a web of words.  Captivate people with your kindness.  Find beauty in things you may have missed out on by blindly going through life, just getting by.   Forgive those who have wronged you and accept forgiveness from others.  Give love.  Accept love. Give away a smile to someone who doesn't have one. Be the change in the world.  And through this, you, too will be changed. For good.

You truly never know how your words will affect those around you.  I am hoping mine have had a positive effect on you today.  Feel free to share them with others, if you will.  Just writing this helped me feel better, and if you know anyone who can be helped by what I have had to say, then be kind and share it. Yes, I said words, people. A lot of them. And I am glad I did. :)

TAKING INVENTORY

     My daughter used to tell people that I count socks for a living.  Mind you, she was only about five at the time, but that was her perception of my job.  The time I spent away from her, not coloring or singing or playing endless games of Memory -- in her mind, was filled with images of me in a large room, counting socks.  To be perfectly honest, her kindergarten explanation of my job (watered down though it may be) was accurate.  I am employed by a large warehouse club as an auditor.  Before you run away screaming from your computer screen,  I am not THAT kind of auditor.  I audit merchandise.  I check for shipping errors, help people find missing items, deal with members and buyers, and inventory the goods in our building. On a daily basis.  Everyday.  I. Count. SOCKS.  Zzzzzz....

            Before you completely fall asleep, I'll get to the point.  YOU are an auditor.  Or you should be.  And not for your sock drawer, mind you (I've already got that covered).  I am talking about taking daily inventory of your life. When was the last time you actually stopped running to take a look back and see where you've been?  And what you've accomplished?  Actually evaluate where you have been and how far you have come, before moving on to the next-and-greatest-thing?  If you are anything like me,  probably TOO long. 

            It usually takes some major, life-changing, asteroid-drops-on-my-roof type of a moment for me to come to this type of an epiphany.  Usually happens once or twice a year, which is kind of a good thing.  Incidentally, our physical inventory at work (where we count the ENTIRE warehouse, top to bottom, socks and non-socks) is also twice a year, January and July.  A checkpoint, as it were.  Now think back to the last time in your life that you actually "took inventory" of your goals.  Did you plan?  Did you succeed? A couple things I have learned through the countless inventories taken in my 40+ years -- both personal and professional (warehouse level):

            1:  HAVE A WRITTEN PLAN AND A TIMELINE.  I can't begin to tell you what a horror story it would be to count our entire warehouse without a written plan.  Our timeline starts about six weeks prior to the inventory date.  We have meetings, set goals, delegate tasks, and check in from time to time to evaluate our progress.  YOU can do this as the Life Auditor.  Plan your goal.  Set a timeline to complete it.  Check in weekly (or daily if it is a short-term goal).  Delegate, or enlist help from others who have a vested interest in your life change.  And then....follow it.

            2.  BE FRIENDS WITH FAILURE.  Most people are generally afraid to fail. Now, I'm not really talking about what people would term an EPIC fail, but your garden-variety failure.  An instance where something did not go as planned.  This is where you have a choice -- you can be BITTER and throw yourself a pity party, or your can get BETTER and learn from what went wrong.  A couple of inventory cycles ago, my boss put me in charge of paperwork -- a daunting task, to be sure.  This job had belonged to someone else, and she was not going to let it go easy.  As I was attempting to organize and put out fires, she was continually printing and reprinting reports -- causing a HUGE problem with the paperwork.  No matter how hard I tried to organize, her efforts to try and do the same job were causing us BOTH problems.  A manager compounded the issue by pressing the "END" button way too soon -- closing inventory before all papers were in and everything had been counted.  I was blamed for the mess and went home about midnight, throwing myself a pretty good pity party in lieu of a few hours of sleep I could have gotten.  The next day was a mess, but I managed to calm down and salvage what needed to be saved.  Lesson learned?  YOU BET.  Next inventory cycle, I took complete control of the paperwork.  I had a list going in of what NOT to do, which definitely helped.  My well-meaning co-worker was told to leave well enough alone. The paperwork was completed in record time, and my bosses were happy.  VERY happy.  And so it goes with our jobs as Life Auditors -- we learn from failures, rework our plan, add a little extra time, deal with people who are not helping us achieve,  and we can be back on track.  

            3.  SHARE YOUR SUCCESS.  I am not talking about bragging.  Pride definitely cometh before a fall (talking about failure!)  I'm talking about using your experience as a Life Auditor to help your friends with their struggles.  As a young, inexperienced mother, I always appreciated those who had gone before me sharing their words of wisdom (often combined with chocolate-chip cookies or shared sodas while watching our children play).  A lot of other new moms my age thought this was offensive, but I LOVED it.  I soaked in every detail, every this-will-help-you moment I could glean from those who had come before me. Taking the time to learn from others allows you to reach your goals a little bit faster, a little bit easier.  Being open to new ideas -- REALLY being open and listening -- makes ANY job a lot easier.  It also makes you a better friend, employee, parent...well, I think you get the picture.

            I have been fortunate to have been helped on my "inventories" by several amazing people -- friends, family, co-workers, and mentors -- all having some kind of influence on the outcome of my "counts".  They have helped me see where I needed to change direction, rework plans, find lost items, and sing about my successes. And you can surely count on Inspiresy for the newest and greatest words of wisdom from your co-captains in this game called Life.

             So, auditors -- count away, and pretty soon your job as a Life Auditor will be calculatedly comfortable...like your favorite pair of socks. 

           

A Window to the World Through a Faceless Book

        Confession:  I am kind of a FaceBook freak.  Not in a bad way, mind you.   It is kind of my poor-woman's escape from reality, since I can't afford a plane ticket to Cozumel.  I can see what YOU are doing, tell you what I am doing, and even post pictures of things as they happen.  It's kind of like the old-fashioned Peeping Toms, creeps who would get happy off sneaking around town and looking into other people's windows...except we now ALLOW it and are willing participants in it.  Society has definitely evolved into something interesting when we can allow others access to our daily thoughts without any face to face interaction at all...FACEbook, indeed.  More like Alfred Hitchcock's Rear Window, if you ask me...

  For those of you too young to remember, Rear Window is a movie where a man, temporarily disabled, is confined to his apartment -- where his only form of entertainment is spying on his neighbors through binoculars from his window, living through them as he recuperates.  He sees (or thinks he sees) a murder take place, and spends the rest of the movie trying to convince people that a woman has actually been murdered.  No one believes him at first, but eventually he convinces those closest to him to take a second look.  And what they find changes things forever.  The reason I make the comparison between FaceBook and this movie is simple -- what YOU see through your binoculars may be the truth or a finely crafted fib.  A mask faced outward to society's view, put there to hide what is really going on within.  You see what someone wants you to see, and only that.

        FaceBook is an interesting peek into society's anomalies...

        Friends of my children, who probably wouldn't invite me to a sleepover, think nothing of "friending" me and posting on my page.  Consequently, I friend them in return, allowing me to use my binoculars to return to my teen years through their open window.  Luckily, my page remains pretty tame -- I don't use profanity or post inappropriate things, and I usually will hide or block people that do.  So I am a pretty safe grown-up "window" for the teens to peer through.  I am sorry to report, however, that a lot of their pages are, um,  not for prime-time viewing.  I remain friends with them anyway -- choosing to see what I want to, and quietly watching for things that may require leaving my window and visiting them face to face.  In case you are wondering, my children DO have a FaceBook, but ONLY with me as their friend.  Spy? You bet. Stalker? Not if I don't have to be -- and they know that.

        Second, some people say things on FaceBook that they would never say in public.  EVER.  And due to the fact FaceBook has not unleashed an artificial intelligence app, you can't tell tone from a post.  People sometimes post things in a purposely vague tone, leaving your imagination and paranoia to wonder, "is she talking about me???"  Safe behind the window, but close enough for binocular viewing, your true thoughts can be broadcast to the masses.  I am kind of guilty of this one.  When things happen at work that make me reconsider my job path, I weave fairy tales on my FaceBook page.  Only the people close to the situation get the hidden meanings, and the rest of my friends think I am just being my usual decidedly clever self.  Like some of the neighbors in Rear Window, I can also "pull my shade" -- blocking certain people (like who I am venting about) from reading my posts.  Or, like other apartment dwellers, I can leave my window open to the world and openly poke at anyone I choose.  Poke. Just like that.

          Several years back, I was going through some pretty trying stuff personally -- mostly with issues related to a wayward child and, in an unrelated sense, to my own health.  In a period of three months, I lost 30 pounds and the majority of my sanity (and for those of you who know me, either loss by itself would be a huge thing).  My work was really the only thing holding me together at that point, but my window was closed.  And shrinking, along with my weight.  Some co-workers, rather than ask what was going on, simply spread outrageous rumors of cancer, drug use, eating disorders and the like.  My world was crumbling, and trying to carry the burdens alone on my now 98-pound shoulders was becoming more and more difficult. I felt like everyone's binoculars were turned firmly towards my failings.  But no one ever really asked me face-to-face what the problem(s) were.  FaceBook did not exist then, but I can only imagine what the posts would have been like.

        Then, a ray of light.  My direct manager, who had become a close personal friend, left the chair at his window and came down to my level.  He grilled me about what was going on and promised to be there for me.  He could always tell when I was having a bad day. He then said something I will never forget.  When I was wondering out loud how people who were supposed to be my friends could be so cruel, he said, "perception isn't always reality".  And then, and only then, did my window start opening a little.  I realized that if I couldn't recognize and accept the truth about myself, then how could I expect others to do the same?  And by the same respect, what people thought about me really didn't matter -- only the truth did.  And it was up to me how much of the truth I wanted to reveal, knowing that my choices would affect others' view through my window. Poke.

        That would be my last kind of pet peeve about the evolution of FaceBook.  The status updates that say things like "like this status and I will post the truth on your wall".  Or "rate me".  Like you are ever going to say anything approaching the truth anyway.  Your truth will be something so sugar coated and sticky sweet that it would spoil your supper, like "you are sooo beautiful and a great singer!".  Not the real meat-and-potatoes stuff like, "you dress crazy but you don't care and I like that about you" or "you should treat other people the way you want to be treated". Most people would never post anything like that in response to those questions because then people would be looking into their windows.  Or throwing virtual rocks through them. Perception isn't always reality.  And windows aren't always clean or open.  Just saying.

        Truth is.....I still enjoy FaceBook.  For all its idiosyncracies and hidden meanings, and especially the pictures.  I like it because it allows me to be a part of the lives of people I haven't been able to see face to face in years. I remain true to myself in my posts, and while sometimes purposely vague and mysterious, I am proud to say I have never posted hurtful, unkind, or profane comments.  I love to have a forum for posting sad, funny, or inspirational stuff and getting pats on the back from my virtual support group when I need it. But when given the chance, I would leave my window to be able to poke, high-five, hug, or kiss them in person.  And I do--every chance I get.   

       

       

Becoming a Better Bird

Becoming a Better Bird

           I recently got a new smart phone to replace my "dumb" one.  And silly me, I thought phones were for talking.  I have since learned that they are for tweeting, GPSing, FaceBook updates, MMSing, UPC scanning, and most importantly playing games.  I myself am more of a board game person (Scrabble, UpWords, RummiKub, etc.), but I was intrigued.  Especially by a game that had something to do with birds and pigs and destruction of some type.  Yes, these birds were ANGRY.  I downloaded the free version of the Angry Birds game nearly two hours into my smartphone ownership because I had to see what the big deal was.  For about two hours, my life was consumed with flipping birds into pigs and their homes with varying degrees of accuracy.  Kids went unfed, phones unanswered, husband ignored...you get the picture.  And what was my reward for the two hours of dedication?  Well...I was ANGRY -- that I had wasted so much time. 

          The thing is still taking up real estate on my phone, but I looked at it one day and wondered why, since I had not really played it in weeks.  The more I thought about it, the more I realized that those stupid birds could actually be metaphors for motivation -- or the lack thereof.  I decided to make their presence on my smartphone a little more meaningful, so I began to brainstorm...how did these critters get SO over-emotional (I will use over-emotional instead of angry, as any histrionics are not productive or pretty)  and what could be done about it (short of winning the game, of course)?

          Don't sweat the small stuff.  In the beginning, the birds had their eggs, and they were happy.  Then, they allowed themselves to get angry over something small (in this case, a mosquito).  They got SO consumed with anger, that they stomped the little guy into dust.  And so it is with us.  If we are totally focused on our goals or our task at hand, the little things won't mean anything -- much less make us so emotional that we lose both control and focus.   

          Don't lose sight of what's important.  In the beginning, the birds had their eggs, and they were happy.  The eggs were important, and so was the triangle of their relationship with their fellow birds and the eggs.  They were, in all respects, like a family.  As they got angry over such a minor thing (the mosquito), they literally lost sight of what was important to them (the eggs).  And then, before you can say "bird is the word", the eggs were GONE.  Losing things that are important to us causes us to often become emotional, blaming ourselves for the loss and possibly our inability or missed opportunity to get the things back.  Now the pigs in this case, they are another story.  They sat. They watched.  They waited for the birds to focus their attention on something else and BAM!  Omelettes anyone?  

          In life, there are birds, and there are pigs -- both in business as well as the barnyard.  Both types exist, but in different ways. 

         

          The birds are focused on taking care of things, making things happen for themselves.  Birds must catch their own food and build their own homes. Their future happiness depends on the quantity and quality of their work.  The birds fly high in the sky, above all the dirt and grime -- meaning that not only are they clean physically, but mentally as well.  Birds are smart.

          A bird in the "people world" would probably be someone who is focused, does well in school and/or work, does not let other people's opinions influence them, and stands up for themselves.  Some species of birds mate for life, and most of their human counterparts value interpersonal relationships like long-term marriage and friendships with many types of people.  These people "fly high" above things like gossip, cheating, lying, and anything that puts them on the wrong side of the law.    They pride themselves on preening and keeping themselves well-groomed and healthy. Their opinions are valued, their nests are clean, and they are generally good people -- productive and well-liked.  Good is OK, but better and BEST are where they are trying to fly.

         

          The pigs, on the other hand, also have goals -- but they are adept at using others to obtain them.  The pigs are penned and slopped by someone else, usually a farmer or budding 4H club member.  Their future happiness depends on the work of  others.  Pigs are ground-dwellers, so they cannot rise above the filth and grime of the ground.  Unclean and unkempt, they can wallow in filth all day and be perfectly happy.  Pigs are generally perceived or depicted as not all that smart (even though biologically, they really are pretty intelligent).

          Human "pigs" thrive on laziness, clutter, and chaos.  It doesn't matter to them if they cause someone else trouble, as long as their needs are taken care of.  They may be less-educated, or at least they act like it.  Noisy and not given to social graces, they are uncomfortable going outside their "pen" and taking chances because it is too much work.  They might have trouble holding a job because of their work ethic, or they will stay at an easy job and not advance themselves because, again -- WORK is required.  Their appearance is unkempt and uncouth, and although pigs may be fun people to be around in certain situations, they may lose out on lots of opportunities due to their demeanor and actions.  "Good enough" is good enough for them. 

          Talk about imagery on an iPhone!  

Now before you fire off a really unkind comment about this article, I would like to clarify something.  When I put the standards of birds vs. pigs to the test, I found that there is a little more gray area in human life than there is in the animal kingdom -- where a bird is a bird and a pig is a pig.  I see hybrids -- pigs with little wings and birds with pig snouts and curly tails (insert hilarious mental pictures here).  And I think in certain circumstances, having a little pig in you is acceptable (like maybe on your day off, or vacation time)...but all-pig people seriously make me want to go Kosher and run back to my nest.  

          My challenge to myself this year (and to anyone reading this) is to become a little more bird and put away my inner pig.  How can I do this?  Fly above the pigs -- don't let gossip and laziness bring you down.  My "eggs" are truly my family (both immediate and extended), and I vow in 2012 to let the little stuff "bug" me less so I am doing more singing and less emotion-filled pecking in my nest.  I want to keep my nest (house, desk. etc) clean and my goals high.  I want to be healthy and choose good habits so my feathers stay clean and shiny.  And most of all, I want to continue to migrate with a good group, headed in the same direction towards the same goals.  

          And for those of you "Angry Birds" fans... I hope you don't let a small thing like this article cause you to become emotional.  Go ahead -- play the game.  But remember, it's JUST a game.  Don't let the piggies bring you down!

          Happy 2012!

The Heart of the Matter

Composed by Michelle Nelson -- August 27, 2011

One day, I covered up my heart

To hide it out of sight.

So others’ hurtful comments 

Would never cause a blight.

To keep out all the problems

And suffering and woe

I chose the thickest, softest suede

That you could ever sew.

But soon I thought a flaw I’d found

In that perfect cover made

I never knew that fingerprints

Would be so well displayed.

So back to the store my fabric went

How dare they sell such fluff

For to cover one’s heart

  (a precious thing)

One can’t be careful enough.

The clerk was wise beyond His years

And had a tale to tell

For He had seen much suffering

And knew my problems well.

“My child, the heart’s a precious thing,

Created for the soul

But only sweet the gift can be

If shared in common goal.

Each time you gave a service

Each time you played a part

Someone left their fingerprints

Upon your hidden heart.

Then year by year, bit by bit

The cover hid no more

For people saw and people loved

What people knew before.

For hearts are made for touching

And covers cannot hide

The feelings and the memories

From showing up outside.”

I sat in silence at His words

For I’d heard them all before

But something different touched my heart

This time I felt it more.

Without the cover my heart was out

Within the world’s plain view

But suddenly the hurtful things

Had no effect or glue.

For all the touches I’d received

The fingerprints displayed

Fell to my heart and covered it

Far better than that suede.

Fingerprints are beautiful things

They’re friendship’s answer

To angel wings.

The heart is their canvas

The soul is their clay

Thank you for being my friend today.

Your touch on my heart cannot ever be erased.