TAKING INVENTORY

     My daughter used to tell people that I count socks for a living.  Mind you, she was only about five at the time, but that was her perception of my job.  The time I spent away from her, not coloring or singing or playing endless games of Memory -- in her mind, was filled with images of me in a large room, counting socks.  To be perfectly honest, her kindergarten explanation of my job (watered down though it may be) was accurate.  I am employed by a large warehouse club as an auditor.  Before you run away screaming from your computer screen,  I am not THAT kind of auditor.  I audit merchandise.  I check for shipping errors, help people find missing items, deal with members and buyers, and inventory the goods in our building. On a daily basis.  Everyday.  I. Count. SOCKS.  Zzzzzz....

            Before you completely fall asleep, I'll get to the point.  YOU are an auditor.  Or you should be.  And not for your sock drawer, mind you (I've already got that covered).  I am talking about taking daily inventory of your life. When was the last time you actually stopped running to take a look back and see where you've been?  And what you've accomplished?  Actually evaluate where you have been and how far you have come, before moving on to the next-and-greatest-thing?  If you are anything like me,  probably TOO long. 

            It usually takes some major, life-changing, asteroid-drops-on-my-roof type of a moment for me to come to this type of an epiphany.  Usually happens once or twice a year, which is kind of a good thing.  Incidentally, our physical inventory at work (where we count the ENTIRE warehouse, top to bottom, socks and non-socks) is also twice a year, January and July.  A checkpoint, as it were.  Now think back to the last time in your life that you actually "took inventory" of your goals.  Did you plan?  Did you succeed? A couple things I have learned through the countless inventories taken in my 40+ years -- both personal and professional (warehouse level):

            1:  HAVE A WRITTEN PLAN AND A TIMELINE.  I can't begin to tell you what a horror story it would be to count our entire warehouse without a written plan.  Our timeline starts about six weeks prior to the inventory date.  We have meetings, set goals, delegate tasks, and check in from time to time to evaluate our progress.  YOU can do this as the Life Auditor.  Plan your goal.  Set a timeline to complete it.  Check in weekly (or daily if it is a short-term goal).  Delegate, or enlist help from others who have a vested interest in your life change.  And then....follow it.

            2.  BE FRIENDS WITH FAILURE.  Most people are generally afraid to fail. Now, I'm not really talking about what people would term an EPIC fail, but your garden-variety failure.  An instance where something did not go as planned.  This is where you have a choice -- you can be BITTER and throw yourself a pity party, or your can get BETTER and learn from what went wrong.  A couple of inventory cycles ago, my boss put me in charge of paperwork -- a daunting task, to be sure.  This job had belonged to someone else, and she was not going to let it go easy.  As I was attempting to organize and put out fires, she was continually printing and reprinting reports -- causing a HUGE problem with the paperwork.  No matter how hard I tried to organize, her efforts to try and do the same job were causing us BOTH problems.  A manager compounded the issue by pressing the "END" button way too soon -- closing inventory before all papers were in and everything had been counted.  I was blamed for the mess and went home about midnight, throwing myself a pretty good pity party in lieu of a few hours of sleep I could have gotten.  The next day was a mess, but I managed to calm down and salvage what needed to be saved.  Lesson learned?  YOU BET.  Next inventory cycle, I took complete control of the paperwork.  I had a list going in of what NOT to do, which definitely helped.  My well-meaning co-worker was told to leave well enough alone. The paperwork was completed in record time, and my bosses were happy.  VERY happy.  And so it goes with our jobs as Life Auditors -- we learn from failures, rework our plan, add a little extra time, deal with people who are not helping us achieve,  and we can be back on track.  

            3.  SHARE YOUR SUCCESS.  I am not talking about bragging.  Pride definitely cometh before a fall (talking about failure!)  I'm talking about using your experience as a Life Auditor to help your friends with their struggles.  As a young, inexperienced mother, I always appreciated those who had gone before me sharing their words of wisdom (often combined with chocolate-chip cookies or shared sodas while watching our children play).  A lot of other new moms my age thought this was offensive, but I LOVED it.  I soaked in every detail, every this-will-help-you moment I could glean from those who had come before me. Taking the time to learn from others allows you to reach your goals a little bit faster, a little bit easier.  Being open to new ideas -- REALLY being open and listening -- makes ANY job a lot easier.  It also makes you a better friend, employee, parent...well, I think you get the picture.

            I have been fortunate to have been helped on my "inventories" by several amazing people -- friends, family, co-workers, and mentors -- all having some kind of influence on the outcome of my "counts".  They have helped me see where I needed to change direction, rework plans, find lost items, and sing about my successes. And you can surely count on Inspiresy for the newest and greatest words of wisdom from your co-captains in this game called Life.

             So, auditors -- count away, and pretty soon your job as a Life Auditor will be calculatedly comfortable...like your favorite pair of socks. 

           

A Window to the World Through a Faceless Book

        Confession:  I am kind of a FaceBook freak.  Not in a bad way, mind you.   It is kind of my poor-woman's escape from reality, since I can't afford a plane ticket to Cozumel.  I can see what YOU are doing, tell you what I am doing, and even post pictures of things as they happen.  It's kind of like the old-fashioned Peeping Toms, creeps who would get happy off sneaking around town and looking into other people's windows...except we now ALLOW it and are willing participants in it.  Society has definitely evolved into something interesting when we can allow others access to our daily thoughts without any face to face interaction at all...FACEbook, indeed.  More like Alfred Hitchcock's Rear Window, if you ask me...

  For those of you too young to remember, Rear Window is a movie where a man, temporarily disabled, is confined to his apartment -- where his only form of entertainment is spying on his neighbors through binoculars from his window, living through them as he recuperates.  He sees (or thinks he sees) a murder take place, and spends the rest of the movie trying to convince people that a woman has actually been murdered.  No one believes him at first, but eventually he convinces those closest to him to take a second look.  And what they find changes things forever.  The reason I make the comparison between FaceBook and this movie is simple -- what YOU see through your binoculars may be the truth or a finely crafted fib.  A mask faced outward to society's view, put there to hide what is really going on within.  You see what someone wants you to see, and only that.

        FaceBook is an interesting peek into society's anomalies...

        Friends of my children, who probably wouldn't invite me to a sleepover, think nothing of "friending" me and posting on my page.  Consequently, I friend them in return, allowing me to use my binoculars to return to my teen years through their open window.  Luckily, my page remains pretty tame -- I don't use profanity or post inappropriate things, and I usually will hide or block people that do.  So I am a pretty safe grown-up "window" for the teens to peer through.  I am sorry to report, however, that a lot of their pages are, um,  not for prime-time viewing.  I remain friends with them anyway -- choosing to see what I want to, and quietly watching for things that may require leaving my window and visiting them face to face.  In case you are wondering, my children DO have a FaceBook, but ONLY with me as their friend.  Spy? You bet. Stalker? Not if I don't have to be -- and they know that.

        Second, some people say things on FaceBook that they would never say in public.  EVER.  And due to the fact FaceBook has not unleashed an artificial intelligence app, you can't tell tone from a post.  People sometimes post things in a purposely vague tone, leaving your imagination and paranoia to wonder, "is she talking about me???"  Safe behind the window, but close enough for binocular viewing, your true thoughts can be broadcast to the masses.  I am kind of guilty of this one.  When things happen at work that make me reconsider my job path, I weave fairy tales on my FaceBook page.  Only the people close to the situation get the hidden meanings, and the rest of my friends think I am just being my usual decidedly clever self.  Like some of the neighbors in Rear Window, I can also "pull my shade" -- blocking certain people (like who I am venting about) from reading my posts.  Or, like other apartment dwellers, I can leave my window open to the world and openly poke at anyone I choose.  Poke. Just like that.

          Several years back, I was going through some pretty trying stuff personally -- mostly with issues related to a wayward child and, in an unrelated sense, to my own health.  In a period of three months, I lost 30 pounds and the majority of my sanity (and for those of you who know me, either loss by itself would be a huge thing).  My work was really the only thing holding me together at that point, but my window was closed.  And shrinking, along with my weight.  Some co-workers, rather than ask what was going on, simply spread outrageous rumors of cancer, drug use, eating disorders and the like.  My world was crumbling, and trying to carry the burdens alone on my now 98-pound shoulders was becoming more and more difficult. I felt like everyone's binoculars were turned firmly towards my failings.  But no one ever really asked me face-to-face what the problem(s) were.  FaceBook did not exist then, but I can only imagine what the posts would have been like.

        Then, a ray of light.  My direct manager, who had become a close personal friend, left the chair at his window and came down to my level.  He grilled me about what was going on and promised to be there for me.  He could always tell when I was having a bad day. He then said something I will never forget.  When I was wondering out loud how people who were supposed to be my friends could be so cruel, he said, "perception isn't always reality".  And then, and only then, did my window start opening a little.  I realized that if I couldn't recognize and accept the truth about myself, then how could I expect others to do the same?  And by the same respect, what people thought about me really didn't matter -- only the truth did.  And it was up to me how much of the truth I wanted to reveal, knowing that my choices would affect others' view through my window. Poke.

        That would be my last kind of pet peeve about the evolution of FaceBook.  The status updates that say things like "like this status and I will post the truth on your wall".  Or "rate me".  Like you are ever going to say anything approaching the truth anyway.  Your truth will be something so sugar coated and sticky sweet that it would spoil your supper, like "you are sooo beautiful and a great singer!".  Not the real meat-and-potatoes stuff like, "you dress crazy but you don't care and I like that about you" or "you should treat other people the way you want to be treated". Most people would never post anything like that in response to those questions because then people would be looking into their windows.  Or throwing virtual rocks through them. Perception isn't always reality.  And windows aren't always clean or open.  Just saying.

        Truth is.....I still enjoy FaceBook.  For all its idiosyncracies and hidden meanings, and especially the pictures.  I like it because it allows me to be a part of the lives of people I haven't been able to see face to face in years. I remain true to myself in my posts, and while sometimes purposely vague and mysterious, I am proud to say I have never posted hurtful, unkind, or profane comments.  I love to have a forum for posting sad, funny, or inspirational stuff and getting pats on the back from my virtual support group when I need it. But when given the chance, I would leave my window to be able to poke, high-five, hug, or kiss them in person.  And I do--every chance I get.   

       

       

Becoming a Better Bird

Becoming a Better Bird

           I recently got a new smart phone to replace my "dumb" one.  And silly me, I thought phones were for talking.  I have since learned that they are for tweeting, GPSing, FaceBook updates, MMSing, UPC scanning, and most importantly playing games.  I myself am more of a board game person (Scrabble, UpWords, RummiKub, etc.), but I was intrigued.  Especially by a game that had something to do with birds and pigs and destruction of some type.  Yes, these birds were ANGRY.  I downloaded the free version of the Angry Birds game nearly two hours into my smartphone ownership because I had to see what the big deal was.  For about two hours, my life was consumed with flipping birds into pigs and their homes with varying degrees of accuracy.  Kids went unfed, phones unanswered, husband ignored...you get the picture.  And what was my reward for the two hours of dedication?  Well...I was ANGRY -- that I had wasted so much time. 

          The thing is still taking up real estate on my phone, but I looked at it one day and wondered why, since I had not really played it in weeks.  The more I thought about it, the more I realized that those stupid birds could actually be metaphors for motivation -- or the lack thereof.  I decided to make their presence on my smartphone a little more meaningful, so I began to brainstorm...how did these critters get SO over-emotional (I will use over-emotional instead of angry, as any histrionics are not productive or pretty)  and what could be done about it (short of winning the game, of course)?

          Don't sweat the small stuff.  In the beginning, the birds had their eggs, and they were happy.  Then, they allowed themselves to get angry over something small (in this case, a mosquito).  They got SO consumed with anger, that they stomped the little guy into dust.  And so it is with us.  If we are totally focused on our goals or our task at hand, the little things won't mean anything -- much less make us so emotional that we lose both control and focus.   

          Don't lose sight of what's important.  In the beginning, the birds had their eggs, and they were happy.  The eggs were important, and so was the triangle of their relationship with their fellow birds and the eggs.  They were, in all respects, like a family.  As they got angry over such a minor thing (the mosquito), they literally lost sight of what was important to them (the eggs).  And then, before you can say "bird is the word", the eggs were GONE.  Losing things that are important to us causes us to often become emotional, blaming ourselves for the loss and possibly our inability or missed opportunity to get the things back.  Now the pigs in this case, they are another story.  They sat. They watched.  They waited for the birds to focus their attention on something else and BAM!  Omelettes anyone?  

          In life, there are birds, and there are pigs -- both in business as well as the barnyard.  Both types exist, but in different ways. 

         

          The birds are focused on taking care of things, making things happen for themselves.  Birds must catch their own food and build their own homes. Their future happiness depends on the quantity and quality of their work.  The birds fly high in the sky, above all the dirt and grime -- meaning that not only are they clean physically, but mentally as well.  Birds are smart.

          A bird in the "people world" would probably be someone who is focused, does well in school and/or work, does not let other people's opinions influence them, and stands up for themselves.  Some species of birds mate for life, and most of their human counterparts value interpersonal relationships like long-term marriage and friendships with many types of people.  These people "fly high" above things like gossip, cheating, lying, and anything that puts them on the wrong side of the law.    They pride themselves on preening and keeping themselves well-groomed and healthy. Their opinions are valued, their nests are clean, and they are generally good people -- productive and well-liked.  Good is OK, but better and BEST are where they are trying to fly.

         

          The pigs, on the other hand, also have goals -- but they are adept at using others to obtain them.  The pigs are penned and slopped by someone else, usually a farmer or budding 4H club member.  Their future happiness depends on the work of  others.  Pigs are ground-dwellers, so they cannot rise above the filth and grime of the ground.  Unclean and unkempt, they can wallow in filth all day and be perfectly happy.  Pigs are generally perceived or depicted as not all that smart (even though biologically, they really are pretty intelligent).

          Human "pigs" thrive on laziness, clutter, and chaos.  It doesn't matter to them if they cause someone else trouble, as long as their needs are taken care of.  They may be less-educated, or at least they act like it.  Noisy and not given to social graces, they are uncomfortable going outside their "pen" and taking chances because it is too much work.  They might have trouble holding a job because of their work ethic, or they will stay at an easy job and not advance themselves because, again -- WORK is required.  Their appearance is unkempt and uncouth, and although pigs may be fun people to be around in certain situations, they may lose out on lots of opportunities due to their demeanor and actions.  "Good enough" is good enough for them. 

          Talk about imagery on an iPhone!  

Now before you fire off a really unkind comment about this article, I would like to clarify something.  When I put the standards of birds vs. pigs to the test, I found that there is a little more gray area in human life than there is in the animal kingdom -- where a bird is a bird and a pig is a pig.  I see hybrids -- pigs with little wings and birds with pig snouts and curly tails (insert hilarious mental pictures here).  And I think in certain circumstances, having a little pig in you is acceptable (like maybe on your day off, or vacation time)...but all-pig people seriously make me want to go Kosher and run back to my nest.  

          My challenge to myself this year (and to anyone reading this) is to become a little more bird and put away my inner pig.  How can I do this?  Fly above the pigs -- don't let gossip and laziness bring you down.  My "eggs" are truly my family (both immediate and extended), and I vow in 2012 to let the little stuff "bug" me less so I am doing more singing and less emotion-filled pecking in my nest.  I want to keep my nest (house, desk. etc) clean and my goals high.  I want to be healthy and choose good habits so my feathers stay clean and shiny.  And most of all, I want to continue to migrate with a good group, headed in the same direction towards the same goals.  

          And for those of you "Angry Birds" fans... I hope you don't let a small thing like this article cause you to become emotional.  Go ahead -- play the game.  But remember, it's JUST a game.  Don't let the piggies bring you down!

          Happy 2012!